What the fuck could you possibly want me to talk about?
["Why the fuck you're getting married, for one! We were on a break!"]
Getting your stuff out of my apartment, changing the locks, and taking you to court is not indicative of a break!!
[If the situation wasn't what it was, if it involved anyone else it .... Might be kind of funny since they're effectively arguing from respective sides of the wall Boxer makes.]
You know, there are few things more unattractive to women than not taking 'no' for an answer. If you're gonna move on, I suggest you start practicing it.
[Seriously, even if it was a break, this desperation was not going to do any favors for him.]
["I don't need to move on, what I need is for you to get the hell out of the way you goddamn mo-!"]
Say one more word and I'm going to beat your skull into the fucking hallway, Christian!
[Boxer is seriously in the way here. Now he isn't just keeping Chris where he needs to be, he's the only thing stopping Nariko from vaulting over and throwing a punch.]
[Chris ... Stops, as if he hadn't expected to be asked a question in such a calm tone. His expression shifts from disgust to irritation and then settling on confusion.
"I-" It takes a lot of mental work to get the words to come out, relying on the anger had been much easier than using words like an adult. "... It was four years. How do you just fall out of love like that?"
And, of course, that wasn't how it happened. Boxer and Nariko's relationship has spanned closer to a full year if not utterly exceeded it, so a lot of this is based on assumptions: That Nariko wouldn't actually move on, that she would sit around and wait for him no matter what happened. There were situations that explained his line of thinking, but none of them justified the behavior.
The woman in question has at least stopped trying to crawl up Boxer's side, she's just listening]
[Come on...a guy that won't even eat her out, and he thinks she fell out of love that quickly? He feels like it's a blow below the belt, so he doesn't say anything.]
She needed you to pull through for her...and you rejected the offer. If you felt you needed a break before getting married, I don't think she fell out of love right then and there.
[It is, and unfortunately the guy is really just that stupid and weirdly idyllic.
Before Chris can answer Nariko finally speaks up in the same moment that she tugs at Boxer's arm a bit so she can at least see Chris. But this keeping a steady distance between the two of them? That's a good idea, so she's going to remain where she stands. It's just that if they can actually see one another then Boxer gets a front row view to how utterly hopeful Chris is. He's so stupidly in love, almost utterly delusional with it as if he was caught in some period of their relationship where everything was lovely.]
He's right. [And some of that hope chips away.] You're blaming it on Boxer and me but Chris, we weren't okay for nearly a year. It's not like I woke up one day and then couldn't stand you, we didn't fit together anymore and knowing you didn't want the same things that I do was just the last step in a long process. I'm sorry that it's awful and that you didn't get it, but you seriously need to leave me alone and let me be happy. And you should figure out what makes you happy, too.
["You make me happy!"
... It's sort of like talking to a revolving door with blonde hair.]
[Boxer tries to avoid letting the two of them see each other, and he can see all of his progress vanish with that one expression on Chris's face.
He sighs and rolls his eyes, reaching out with a tentacle and wrapping it around Chris's ankle. With a firm yank, he pulls the guy off of his feet. The question is: will he stay conscious after the back of his head hits the floor?]
[Most normal people can't retain consciousness after a good thwack so it's only reasonable that Chris can't. The guy isn't superman. He's definitely still breathing, though. Nariko deflates completely, it compounds wonderfully with all of her guilt.]
[Despite being one tall mofo, Boxer has no problem picking him up and hanging him over his shoulder. He crawls his way over to the elevator.]
We'll tell the receptionist that this stranger fell down and needs an ambulance. They'll send police, too, and that's when they'll realize he's not supposed to be here.
[She can handle an elevator but apparently not much else. Certainly not the rest of the situation. Nariko walks ahead a bit to try and get the elevator onto her floor before Boxer gets there, just so he doesn't have to wait too long. By now she's trying for every positive little detail that can be found.]
[And so there's a comfy little seat that Boxer can put Chris in while he informs the receptionist what happened and what their poor friend needs! As they head back upstairs:]
[Bridget's a nice girl who slings gossip like it's an Olympic event. That she doesn't pester Boxer with five thousand questions and essentially hold them up is actually a miracle. She keeps her eyes to the floor and nods.]
I'm fine.
[The percentage of women who actually mean 'fine' when they say 'fine' is so incredibly minuscule that it's just illogical to think Nariko would be one of them.] Are you okay?
[Probably because Boxer moves like he's got somewhere to be, especially when he's crawling around to get anywhere instead of using his chair and meandering.
Yeah, he knows that trick. Oldest one in the book.]
Yeah. Sure you're okay? That was pretty upsetting.
It's alright. There's no relationship without their own challenges.
[And he goes back to working on her desk as if nothing out of the ordinary just happened.]
No, you're not insane. I was trying to talk him down from it...not that I thought I'd make any progress--if only to make an assessment of how hopeless he was.
[She isn't taking her couch since Boxer's is much bigger and more comfortable, so she doesn't feel any sense of guilt when she lays out on it and kicks her feet up. She kind of snorts.]
On a scale of one to ten, what's the assessment determine?
He needs therapy. Actual therapy, by a licensed professional. [Not stiff-drink kind of therapy, which is usually what boxer prescribes to himself when things get too real.]
[It feels like her fault and the more she replays the whole series of events the more thoroughly she can pick out things that were her fault. She wasn't caring enough, didn't make their breakup clear enough, she shouldn't have been so aggressive - that sort of thing.
But that's wrong. The logical part of her knows that Boxer is right. An even more thoroughly buried part of her knows that Chris has probably always had issues of his own. The conscious part just drags her body up and goes to hug him.]
Didn't get this name 'cause I always went for the straightforward tactic.
[In other words if his size didn't make it such a pain he'd still be a lethal fighter. Boxer closes his eyes and leans into the kiss and his burrlike soon-wife.
Wish this job was already over, because I want to cuddle the hell out of you right now.
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Hey, kitten. A friend dropped by to check up on you. He was just leaving.
[The question is: will he take the out, or will Boxer have to forcefully show him the door?]
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["Don't say that. Look, I just want to talk-"]
What the fuck could you possibly want me to talk about?
["Why the fuck you're getting married, for one! We were on a break!"]
Getting your stuff out of my apartment, changing the locks, and taking you to court is not indicative of a break!!
[If the situation wasn't what it was, if it involved anyone else it .... Might be kind of funny since they're effectively arguing from respective sides of the wall Boxer makes.]
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[Seriously, even if it was a break, this desperation was not going to do any favors for him.]
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Say one more word and I'm going to beat your skull into the fucking hallway, Christian!
[Boxer is seriously in the way here. Now he isn't just keeping Chris where he needs to be, he's the only thing stopping Nariko from vaulting over and throwing a punch.]
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You still love her, I get that. But do you think she still loves you? Do you think doing this is going to convince her to take you back?
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"I-" It takes a lot of mental work to get the words to come out, relying on the anger had been much easier than using words like an adult. "... It was four years. How do you just fall out of love like that?"
And, of course, that wasn't how it happened. Boxer and Nariko's relationship has spanned closer to a full year if not utterly exceeded it, so a lot of this is based on assumptions: That Nariko wouldn't actually move on, that she would sit around and wait for him no matter what happened. There were situations that explained his line of thinking, but none of them justified the behavior.
The woman in question has at least stopped trying to crawl up Boxer's side, she's just listening]
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She needed you to pull through for her...and you rejected the offer. If you felt you needed a break before getting married, I don't think she fell out of love right then and there.
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Before Chris can answer Nariko finally speaks up in the same moment that she tugs at Boxer's arm a bit so she can at least see Chris. But this keeping a steady distance between the two of them? That's a good idea, so she's going to remain where she stands. It's just that if they can actually see one another then Boxer gets a front row view to how utterly hopeful Chris is. He's so stupidly in love, almost utterly delusional with it as if he was caught in some period of their relationship where everything was lovely.]
He's right. [And some of that hope chips away.] You're blaming it on Boxer and me but Chris, we weren't okay for nearly a year. It's not like I woke up one day and then couldn't stand you, we didn't fit together anymore and knowing you didn't want the same things that I do was just the last step in a long process. I'm sorry that it's awful and that you didn't get it, but you seriously need to leave me alone and let me be happy. And you should figure out what makes you happy, too.
["You make me happy!"
... It's sort of like talking to a revolving door with blonde hair.]
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[Boxer tries to avoid letting the two of them see each other, and he can see all of his progress vanish with that one expression on Chris's face.
He sighs and rolls his eyes, reaching out with a tentacle and wrapping it around Chris's ankle. With a firm yank, he pulls the guy off of his feet. The question is: will he stay conscious after the back of his head hits the floor?]
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... I'm sorry.
[This is awful.]
Should I call the police?
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[Despite being one tall mofo, Boxer has no problem picking him up and hanging him over his shoulder. He crawls his way over to the elevator.]
We'll tell the receptionist that this stranger fell down and needs an ambulance. They'll send police, too, and that's when they'll realize he's not supposed to be here.
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[She can handle an elevator but apparently not much else. Certainly not the rest of the situation. Nariko walks ahead a bit to try and get the elevator onto her floor before Boxer gets there, just so he doesn't have to wait too long. By now she's trying for every positive little detail that can be found.]
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Hey, are you alright?
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I'm fine.
[The percentage of women who actually mean 'fine' when they say 'fine' is so incredibly minuscule that it's just illogical to think Nariko would be one of them.] Are you okay?
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Yeah, he knows that trick. Oldest one in the book.]
Yeah. Sure you're okay? That was pretty upsetting.
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I ended up causing a lot of trouble for you.
[And she just can't help feeling awful about it.] And I don't even ... Am I the insane one, here? None of what he said even makes sense.
[Not if they go by what actually happened, versus what he thinks happened.]
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It's alright. There's no relationship without their own challenges.
[And he goes back to working on her desk as if nothing out of the ordinary just happened.]
No, you're not insane. I was trying to talk him down from it...not that I thought I'd make any progress--if only to make an assessment of how hopeless he was.
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On a scale of one to ten, what's the assessment determine?
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[Nariko lapses into silence again, choosing to just watch Boxer exist. It's a lot more calming.]
Did I do this? [That's worded kind of badly.] I mean, do you think he's this way because of me?
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You can't take responsibility for another person's actions, Nariko.
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[It feels like her fault and the more she replays the whole series of events the more thoroughly she can pick out things that were her fault. She wasn't caring enough, didn't make their breakup clear enough, she shouldn't have been so aggressive - that sort of thing.
But that's wrong. The logical part of her knows that Boxer is right. An even more thoroughly buried part of her knows that Chris has probably always had issues of his own. The conscious part just drags her body up and goes to hug him.]
... You were really cool, though.
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[He sits up when she hugs him, making the gesture easier for her. He turns his head to look at her.]
Really? You think so?
[He wasn't trying to be cool, conflict resolution is one of his job responsibilities, but...hell, if his girlfriend thinks so...he'll take it!]
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[...] Granted, that might have ended horribly.
[To say the least.] But, still. You were very Adult-like.
[And for his troubles Boxer is awarded a very sincere kiss on the cheek. And a fiancee that's turned into a burr.]
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Didn't get this name 'cause I always went for the straightforward tactic.
[In other words if his size didn't make it such a pain he'd still be a lethal fighter. Boxer closes his eyes and leans into the kiss and his burrlike soon-wife.
Wish this job was already over, because I want to cuddle the hell out of you right now.
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