[n_ll]

　
　
more krakenboxer shenanigans feat. nariko

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[n_ll]

[She'll get used to it, being around him.]

I have a policy of not allowing my partners to hire me. But you can just ask me to make something whenever you please--all you have to repay me with is some of your time. What do you want to drink?

[gunslingerqueen]

[Will she? Or will they hen over each other, creating a dull roar of mutual concern?]

But if I ask you then you might be busy or say no.

[And that'd just be awful. Or she'd go back to endless buckets of Chinese food.] Just water!

[She'd offer to help but it seems like Boxer has it all covered, so she sits!]

[n_ll]

Then you'll have to be a big girl and fend for yourself.

[He really doesn't want someone dependant on him...

He brings her back a glass of icewater, as he does for himself, and digs in.]

[gunslingerqueen]

[There's really no chance of that, considering she's managed just fine in all these years, she's really just kidding around.]

Thank you! [For the food! The incredibly delicious food that she eats at a careful, polite pace and then just goes ahead and devours.

It's good, Boxer! Very, very good.]

[n_ll]

[Well, good, because there are days where he will feel like he can't be arsed, and that's when they'll order a gratuitous amount of delivery.]

Thank you.

[She's cute! Lookit her go.]

[gunslingerqueen]

[She's not a pet!!! ... Except she really is going for the food so maybe it's only fair. She's halfway through when it occurs to Nariko to maybe breathe while eating and it's a good opportunity to ask:]

What are you thanking me for, you're the awesome date, here!

[And she didn't do any of the cooking.]

[n_ll]

[He snorts. Don't choke, Nariko.]

Because you're making quite the show of enjoying my food. Don't think anyone's ever given me such high praise before.

[gunslingerqueen]

[It's not a show if it's really how she feels! But she has the decency to get a little flushed at that.]

They should! It's been a long time since I've had a home cooked meal [Quick or not.] and they're meant to be cherished!

[She taps at her fish.] Besides, this is kind of nice, right? I don't even remember the last time I sat at a dining room table that wasn't out in public. It makes the food taste even better.

[Wow, her life is kind of pathetic outside of the awesome job.]

[n_ll]

[It's not super quick for him--one of the longer ones, to be honest, because he doesn't usually do a whole lot of Really Involved cooking, except for holidays.]

Never thought of the table as a spice before.

[He's just being silly though. But no, Nariko doesn't seem pathetic. Just a workaholic.]

You must spend an awful lot of money on food if you're always eating out...

[If he did that he probably wouldn't have as much money saved up as he does.]

[gunslingerqueen]

It's my second highest expense every month, I almost spend as much on food as I do rent.

[Because on top of eating out every single day for every single meal? It's always expensive stuff - This is a woman that would need a few seconds to understand the concept and usefulness of a dollar menu.]

I mean, once upon a time it wasn't like that but, you know, people get busy, work is intense, all that.

[In other words: Her now ex-boyfriend used to do the cooking but somewhere along the way they had both fallen out of the habit completely, and reduced their nightly dinners to take-out and taking separate ends of the couch, barely talking to each other.

So compared to that the table and Boxer's warmer, all around nice presence is definitely a great spice.]

[n_ll]

I'll fix that.

[Because Boxer will never fall out of the habit of feeding himself, and when you make enough food to satiate a kraken's appetite, you might as well make another Nariko-sized portion.]

What kind of food do you like the most?

[gunslingerqueen]

[?? She tilts her head at him a little curiously at that but doesn't pursue it. In all honesty she doesn't want to bother him too much. It'd be a shame if he got sick of her before they really got into anything meaningful.]

Middle Eastern, but that's got to be one of the few cuisines that's a little sparse around here. [But only that. There's a few great food trucks, two hole in the wall places, and one upper scale fusion restaurant. You can get anything in this city - except for your grandma's cooking.]

But next to that, anything quick and tasty is greater. Panini's, creative salads, burgers, rice ... [Hm.] I should just go ahead and admit that I'll eat just about everything.

[n_ll]

Middle Eastern! Been meaning to brush up.

[As for the 'everything'.] Yeah, I kinda gathered when you said you liked Mystery Jans.

[Yuck. Stick with him, babe, he'll feed you better than that.]

[gunslingerqueen]

I'm the best critic you could ask for, I grew up eating the absolute best of it.

[She's also an incredibly soft hearted critic and might not be very good at telling him if he was too far off the mark or not. Luckily Boxer's probably as good at cooking anything he wants as he is charming, so it probably won't be an issue. But the Mystery Jan's comment gets him the hint of her tongue stuck out in his direction.]

Look, it pays to be adventurous and up for anything! That's the 'mystery' part!

[n_ll]

[He rolls his eyes, grinning.]

I wouldn't call "topping a flatbread from the meat trimmings from other flatbreads" an adventure. I call it a heart attack.

[Look at them bickering like they've always been together...]

[gunslingerqueen]

It's the kind of heart attack that makes you stronger for having eaten it. Clearly I will live forever.

[She has Mystery Jan's like every other week, after all.] And it's not the meat trimmings all the time! One week there was Sriracha on it!

[Apparently inconsistency doesn't bother her! ... They're on their way to being a good ol' married couple, it seems!]

[n_ll]

Srirarcha...

[His head bows in disappointed horror. Spicy food! For a tongue so sensitive it can taste the caloric value of food.]

Don't want to break your heart, but there's no spicy food under this roof.

[He's exaggerating; she can hoard all the spicy stuff she wants, just don't trick him into trying it.]

[gunslingerqueen]

[What does he have against Sriracha though??? She's about to ask about the spicy food when ...]

Ohhhh, it's probably too intense, right?

[So of course he wouldn't have anything like that around when most of his senses aren't on the human scale. She waves a hand at that.]

I'll make sure to be very, very careful with it. [She'll have to wash her mouth out before kissing him after eating spicy tacos and such, but that's alright.]

[n_ll]

[Aw. Usually when he runs into a spicy food fanatic they insist that he should try it! Like the previous excursions in palate pain were just figments of his imagination. But no, she instantly understands.

He gives her a soft, fond smile. If anyone was wondering if Nariko was ever ready for a relationship with a monster, let this be evidence that she most definitely is.]

Appreciate it.

[gunslingerqueen]

[She had no desire to burn his tastebuds to utter shit, okay? That's just cruel and inhumane. In-monster-kind. Something. The point remained.]

No problem. I wish I could say that I was willing to give up Diego's Spicy Taco Supremo Special but it's not gonna happen. I'd rather enjoy the taste and then gargle Listerine afterward.

[Granted that might not be anymore pleasant for Boxer's senses.]

They have non-spicy foods, too! Burritos as big as your head.

[Which is saying something.]

[n_ll]

Oh, I know of them.

[He's got a big grin on his face. Will he ever tire of talking about food? Never.]

I like getting the "all you can eat" nacho bowl. The Sizzle-Sweet flavor.

[...which is not nearly as spicy as it sounds--to a human tongue anyway--but uses a lot of different fruits and veggies in their sauce instead. The secret ingredient: banana peppers.

(He knows.)]

[gunslingerqueen]

[Why did she even think he didn't know of them. If she ever finds a restaurant before him it might be something of a miracle. Watch that become their friendly, lifelong competition. Which ultimately means: Even if he doesn't tire of it, he doesn't have to. Because she likes talking about food, too.]

You don't like Mystery Jan's but you'll eat the Sizzle-Sweet flavor that has fifteen thousand different things in it, and you can't even see all of them.

[Explain this to her, Boxer. Please.]

The nacho bowl is good but I never eat enough to justify it. When I was younger I could eat like a garbage disposal, now not so much.

[Considering she still has an obscenely healthy appetite that's saying something.]

[n_ll]

[He actually...gives her a hurt look in response. It looks pretty honest-to-God genuine.]

Can't a monster just enjoy fruit salsa?

[Sure, he can't see them. But he can taste them! That has to count for something.]

[gunslingerqueen]

[The utter look of immediate, regretful horror is just as genuine on her end.]

Yes, of course!!! I'm sorry Boxer, I was just teasing! The Sizzle-Sweet is really, really good! A-And they've even got enough to make it endless!!

[So presumably he wouldn't have to worry about them running out but also

Does she need to hug you, Boxer, to make up for the faux pas? Because she will get up and hug you so tight and apologize profusely.]

[n_ll]

[He...blinks at her for the recoil she's made. She didn't hurt his feelings that badly, as he is the kind to contently disagree on things, but to have one of his favorite things compared to Mystery Jan's? It cuts pretty deep.]

It's okay. I didn't realize you were just teasing.

[A beat.]

It's probably their least popular, so I figured...

[...that she hated it, too.]