[n_ll]

　
　
more krakenboxer shenanigans feat. nariko

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[gunslingerqueen]

[It's like watching the food network channel! Except far more interesting and explicit.]

I still can't get over the fact that you eat fish. [You have to give her more than twenty-four hours, Boxer, but the acceptance will come. She lets herself remain on the table until .... Well, that becomes boring! It'd be much more fun to sidle right on up near him so she can really see what he's doing.]

At least you get it super fresh.

[An upside to everything!] Also wasn't that only four aspects? 'Physically and mentally' occur in the same body, after all.

[So it's one.]

[n_ll]

[Explicit!! He's not trying to be sexy right now, he's just naked and cooking!!

Would you have preferred it if I told you I ate humans?

[He could. It'd probably be his diet if he was "wild". But he doesn't want to, for obvious reasons.]

Is that how you're counting it? You're a stickler, aren't you? [He laughs, then thinks about it for a minute before settling on it.]

I make a ton of money.

[Government work. What can you say.]

[gunslingerqueen]

[Doesn't the naked part make it explicit? Even if he does spend a good amount of his time naked. But the little 'joke' there kind of makes her grimace. She doesn't ... Want to think about him eating humans. It makes sense and she knows he isn't human, it's not right to ignore that he's very obviously a kraken, but it's so ... Well, it's hard for to voice the right way.

Basically it's good that they move on pretty easily.]

'Devil's in the details' as my grandmother always said.

[But the true fifth detail makes her laugh.] That's never a bad thing.

[n_ll]

[Only if you're a PERV!

Don't feel to unsettled, Nariko. He's had to answer enough awkwardly-worded questions about it that he's pretty desensitized.]

I don't keep any devils anywhere.

[Ah. How about some steamed edamame? Aww yeah.]

[gunslingerqueen]

[Has he met her yet? Her name is Nariko and she fucked a kraken on a beach and then went home with him. She's not only a perv, but one with low impulse control.]

Everyone's got some of those.

[She waves a hand, though:] You make it look so easy ... [Her cupboards haven't seen real food since Christian moved out. He did all the cooking and basically enabled her lack of skill in that department.]

[n_ll]

[True...Still, he gives her a little knowing smirk at her response. Sure, everyone's got skeletons in their closet--just not literally. Sorry, it's a terrible joke.

And--if the mood was suited--he'd remark that she makes taking on the girth of five dicks worth of tentacles look easy, but instead, he just shrugs.]

Only learned how to cook because I'm a control freak.

[Not really, but...]

Got tired of seeing people take perfectly good fish and drowning them in batter to fry them up. It's all texture, no flavor...

[gunslingerqueen]

A control freak, or incredibly respectful of food?

[But that would be a terrible joke and his verbal self control is incredibly handy. She leans down a bit to kiss his cheek before she takes the seat nearest to him, because he doesn't want her near anything that's going to be fried. It's just asking for bad luck.]

I'd say don't blame them because not everyone can cook, but we also live right next to an ocean, so. [Ehhh.] It's much harder to get away with flimsy excuses.

[n_ll]

[Relax, Nariko. He's not going to fry anything. In fact, he's turning the broiler unit on for his oven before he juices a few lemons and pours it over the salmon, then adds a few pads of butter and some salt and pepper before throwing it under the broiler.]

It's easy to make in big numbers and hard to mess up, but I don't go out and pay premium for the cook if he's selling easy.

[With everything underway, he rolls to the seat she's taken.]

You want to know who handles seafood the best, though? Restaurant-speaking, anyway.

[gunslingerqueen]

[She tilts her head at him, smiling. What she really wants is to kiss his face off, but this is still sort of, technically a date and it's not a good look to be all desperate and needy. So she keeps her hands to herself and her eyes off of his mouth.]

Of course!

[Tell her all sorts of things, Boxer.]

[n_ll]

[Let not your eyes wander, Nariko, as Boxer leans in as if to tell her a well-kept secret.]

Junction Jan's. The flatbread joint. Their Sea Monster is to die for.

[gunslingerqueen]

Oh, thank goodness. [If they'd been on the 'bad' list she might have cried, honest to god.]

The Sea Monster is good [Although that name is way more ironic now.] but also consider Supremo Deluxe.

[It's her favorite.] Still, I'm glad.

[n_ll]

Mm.

[He sits back in his chair. He doesn't seem impressed. There's nothing that holds a candle to Sea Monster in his eyes...]

Well, it's hard to go wrong with Jan's either way. As long as it isn't Mystery Jan's--[he waves a hand dismissively.] Not big on greasy, unidentifiable food.

[gunslingerqueen]

[She knows that look and she gives it right back. Look, she's cute, got an awesome job, and she's completely into him. He's gonna have to let the Jan's debate go. Or let it become a long running debate over the course of their relationship - one or the other.

The mention of Mystery Jan's makes her grimace.]

Oh, agreed, there's so much grease that you can't even put it on a paper towel! I don't even know why it's still on the menu.

[Because it's still an incredibly popular choice, obviously, but still: Gross.]

[n_ll]

[They have to have something to benignly bicker about!]

Some people like that kind of thing, I guess. Someone's buying it for them to keep it around.

[In theory. See? They can agree on something Jan's related.]

[gunslingerqueen]

Someone's going to have a lifetime of clogged arteries to worry about.

[Says the woman who could easily put down a whole large pizza by herself.]

What about Shanties, near the bay?

[One of the few places she hasn't eaten at, yet! It was recommended by a coworker, but she'll trust Boxer more than Alexander on any given day.]

[n_ll]

Shanties? They're pretty good. Fry a lot of things, but there's plenty of non-fried stuff too.

[He shrugs.]

There's a few places that do their crustaceans better, though...like the Teakwood Raw Bar.

[gunslingerqueen]

Supposedly their oysters are really good.

[She's only had drinks there, so an actual recommendation is a good thing!]

You know, I'm glad you love food as much as I do. [She makes a little tilting gesture with her hand.] Actually, you might love it even more than me, but that's alright.

[n_ll]

A lot of places have good oysters.

[Translation: it's hard to pick which one. The good news is that it means if you fire in a random direction for oysters around here, it's hard to miss.]

What makes you think I love it more....?

[Nooo, Nariko, let's share our love for food!]

[gunslingerqueen]

[ ....... Boxer. Don't do this. Don't make her do this so early on in the relationship.]

You have to promise you're not going to hate me for this answer.

[That's not ominous at all right?]

[n_ll]

[NO NOT AT ALL...]

I...promise?

[gunslingerqueen]

[.... here we go .....]

You don't love it more than me, we're equal if nothing else.

[It sounds like a painful concession she's making.] But, I mean, that's pretty arrogant to say.

[Maybe you'd think that Nariko wasn't the kind of woman to censor herself or worry about what she says to someone on a date! You would be wrong.]

[n_ll]

[He barks out a laugh and shakes his head.]

Trust me, I'm certainly more of the "live to eat" type than the "eat to live," but there are some things that I love way more than food.

[So no, he doesn't hate her for saying that.]

[gunslingerqueen]

[Okay, that went over well! She can now breathe a sigh of relief.]

Even so, I'm glad you're not the type to judge my food choices. I've decided that I've had enough of that.

[n_ll]

You haven't made any food choices that struck me as weird.

[Please hold while he checks the fish.]

We already established you don't like Mystery Jan's, and I can't think of anything weirder than that.

[gunslingerqueen]

[Holding! And then!]

Hey, we have to be clear about that!

[This Junction Jan's deal is really going to be their Thing.]

I like Mystery Jan's! It's just not my favorite! There's a difference!

[No there isn't. They're gonna have to get separate flat breads like an old bickering couple.]