[Seeing as it's one of her favorite things to do and have done to her? He won't have that problem anymore.]

And I've fallen out of my bed while masturbating because my phone rang!

[Which, at the time, had felt kind of - maybe 'sad' is the word, but now she can grin about it.]

You're fine, handsome. [She leans in to kiss his cheek.] If that's the worst you ever do you'll be the gentlest person I've ever met in my life.

[Gentle with her, anyway.]